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Our Kids Archive
I’m sitting out the back of my house in the autumnal sun thinking about just how bloody good life is at the moment. The world is slowly but surely going all the hell but right now I don’t care. I’ve been playing with my one year old boy all morning and he’s just gone down for a nap.
We’ve got a new game. We start by playing hide-and-seek around one of the outdoor chairs with him behind it and me in front. We try to anticipate over which side of the chair – left, right, over or under – the […]
Today my beautiful twin girls, Charlotte and Marianne, would have been three years old.
Happy birthday, my loves. […]
Thanks to everyone who came to Henry’s Welcome to the World Party. We’re so proud of the little tyke we had to show him off. In total over 40 people visited, said hello to him, ate our food, and left.
We were happy for people just to show and say hello but everyone brought gifts. Henry made out like a bandit and we are completely overwhelmed by everyone’s generosity. Hopefully we can return the favour for you someday.
Click on the picture for the PhotoBucket slideshow (opens in new window). […]
I’m back with a new look. Like it? Here’s my promise to you who read my ramblings.
- I’ll post every Friday at 10.00am AEST (that’s UTC+10:00 for you foreign types) without fail.
- I’ll try to keep some kind of balance between my various pre-occupations: historical fencing, languages, book and movie reviews and gaming.
This may prove a little tricky in practice as I tend to be fascinated by one bright shiny object at a time to the exclusion of all others.
Now, here is what has been occupying my time during the last few post-free weeks.
Henry was born earlier […]
Kathi and I are having a boy. Well, we’re about 90% sure our growing bub is a boy. Two sonographers are fairly certain and that’s gotta count for something, right?
We’re over the moon about the news. We’re arguing over a list of names we’ve not considered previously and trying to decide whether to decorate the bub’s room farm and jungle animals, castles and dragons, or spaceships and dinosaurs (which somehow seem to go nicely together).
The weirdest thing about the revelation is that we are suddenly and quite unexpectedly hit with grieving for our girls all over again. I […]
Kathi and I are having another baby. The bub is due to arrive around mid-January 2011. It’s too early to know whether it’s a boy or a girl.
Pauses for audience applause.
We’re excited and anxious like other expectant parents and, since our twin girls Charlotte and Marianne died 18 months ago, completely terrified. But this post isn’t about our baby, our missing angels or our co-mingled joy and terror. There are other parents in the same situation – having a baby after a stillbirth or neo-natal death – who need to know that they are not alone.
We’re having […]
All conflict management theory makes two fatal assumptions, that the other party is:
- willing to solve the problem.
There’s a lot of really good information about on how to handle interpersonal or organisational conflict. You should learn at least the fundamentals in order to better succeed at whatever you turn your hand to. But there are certain triggers which should warn you that the other party won’t come to the party, as it were, whether due to entrenched belief, sheer bloody-mindedness or some manner of brain dysfunction, whether organic or drug-induced. In these cases, you will not be able […]
The first week of my four weeks off work is almost done. I’ve gotten all the chores out of the way and from here on in it’s all gravy. Here’s a list of the highlights:
Sunday: At training, I took part in the second in a series of lessons introducing Meyer‘s dussack fighting style. The wooden dussack was used both as a training weapon for single-handed fencing and as a cudgel carried by the town guard, particularly in eastern Europe. The style is very quick and reminds me a lot of sabre fencing.
Monday: Kathi and I were […]
If you’re not interested in very public exposure of the soul, look away now. To help you, here’s some pictures of bacon taped to a cat.
It’s been nearly a year since my daughters Charlotte and Marianne were born and died and I’m still living very much day-to-day. I have no plans for the future. I can’t even realistically imagine me in any kind of future and that’s largely what this post is about.
Why post publicly? Definitely not as a call for sympathy. Unless you’ve held you children in your arms as they die, you just don’t get it […]
“Anger is an energy” but unless you can find a target on which to direct this energy it becomes self-destructive. Directed energy gets turned into work. Undirected energy is ultimate chaos looking for a way – any way – to decrease its entropy and spread itself evenly across the universe.
I find myself in this same state of ultimate chaos. I am a roiling cloud of undirected and undirectable anger searching for release. “I am become Azathoth, the destroyer of worlds.” I am terrified that unless I can find a way to turn potential energy into work, I will turn […]
Day-to-day existence just doesn’t cut it any more. There’s gotta something else than simply surviving, limping along despite the hurt. We’re well passed the ‘casserole period’ – the approximately six weeks in which friends and relatives bring you casseroles and other foods to help you. We’re now into the ‘why aren’t you over it’ period where the same people who took such good care of you after the tragedy have lost interest in or are otherwise embarrassed when you mention it.
My girls, Charlotte and Marianne, would have been three months old today except they’re dead.
Only now are Kathi […]
We’re going on holiday at the end of March. We’ll be spending three days on Hong Kong and eight in Paris. Hong Kong will be a new experience for us but Paris will be like visiting an old friend. In fact, we plan on visiting a number of friends in northern France. The trip will also serve a way of putting a line under the birth and death of our bubs so that we can start again.
I’m really looking forward to the trip. I discovered last time, that I adore travelling. Kathi, however, was dragged around the world by […]
Kathi and I introduced our girls to our friends and family today, if only to say goodbye. We were so pleased that so many people attended. For those who couldn’t make it, here’s the text of the eulogy I read for my daughters.
Eulogy for Charlotte and Marianne Slee
Thank you for coming. We appreciate it very much. Thanks also to the doctors and the staff of the Mater Mothers Hospital, all who visited and sent flowers, friends and family.
During the 11 and 12 days that Charlotte and Marianne lived, we kept them to ourselves. We were so scared […]
I’ve just organised the funeral for my daughters. No parent should ever have to do this. It’s not something I’d recommend anyone ever do. There’s something cosmically wrong in this reversal of the natural order of things. However, it is one of the few things left to me that I can do to be a father to my girls.
The funeral will be next week and we’ve started contacting people to invite them to attend. It will be a simple ceremony; nothing elaborate at all. The purposes of the event is to introduce them, rather belatedly, to our family and […]
Today at 12:45 AEST, Marianne died. She’d been fighting since Sunday the same illness that Charlotte succumbed to yesterday. Marianne hung on and fought for days by turns improving and worsening. The fact that she survived so long astounded the medical people. The doctors and nurses who looked after her came to refer to her as ‘your little fighter.’
She was also a victim of her immaturity and her eagerness to be born. The bacteria which only made its way into Charlotte’s gut penetrated further into Marianne. It crossed the underdeveloped blood/brain barrier and caused a ever-growing lesion in her […]