grief Archive

  • <p>Kathi and I are having a boy. Well, we’re about 90% sure our growing bub is a boy. Two sonographers are fairly certain and that’s gotta count for something, right?</p>
<p>We’re over the moon about the news. We’re arguing over a list of names we’ve not considered previously and trying to decide whether to decorate the bub’s room farm and jungle animals, castles and dragons, or spaceships and dinosaurs (which somehow seem to go nicely together).</p>
<p>The weirdest thing about the revelation is that we are suddenly and quite unexpectedly hit with grieving for our girls all over again. I  […]</p>

    It’s a Boy! Maybe

    Kathi and I are having a boy. Well, we’re about 90% sure our growing bub is a boy. Two sonographers are fairly certain and that’s gotta count for something, right?

    We’re over the moon about the news. We’re arguing over a list of names we’ve not considered previously and trying to decide whether to decorate the bub’s room farm and jungle animals, castles and dragons, or spaceships and dinosaurs (which somehow seem to go nicely together).

    The weirdest thing about the revelation is that we are suddenly and quite unexpectedly hit with grieving for our girls all over again. I […]

  • <div id="attachment_1164" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignleft"><p class="wp-caption-text">Baby's First Photo</p></div>
<p>Kathi and I are having another baby. The bub is due to arrive around mid-January 2011. It’s too early to know whether it’s a boy or a girl.</p>
<p><em>Pauses for audience applause.</em></p>
<p>We’re excited and anxious like other expectant parents and, since our twin girls Charlotte and Marianne died 18 months ago, completely terrified. But this post isn’t about our baby, our missing angels or our co-mingled joy and terror. There are other parents in the same situation – having a baby after a stillbirth or neo-natal death – who need to know that they are not  […]</p>

    We’re Having a Baby!

    Baby's First Photo

    Kathi and I are having another baby. The bub is due to arrive around mid-January 2011. It’s too early to know whether it’s a boy or a girl.

    Pauses for audience applause.

    We’re excited and anxious like other expectant parents and, since our twin girls Charlotte and Marianne died 18 months ago, completely terrified. But this post isn’t about our baby, our missing angels or our co-mingled joy and terror. There are other parents in the same situation – having a baby after a stillbirth or neo-natal death – who need to know that they are not […]

  • <p>All conflict management theory makes two fatal assumptions, that the other party is:</p>
<ol>
<li>rational,</li>
<li>willing to solve the problem.</li>
</ol>
<p>There’s a lot of really good information about on how to handle interpersonal or organisational conflict. You should learn at least the fundamentals in order to better succeed at whatever you turn your hand to. But there are certain triggers which should warn you that the other party won’t come to the party, as it were, whether due to entrenched belief, sheer bloody-mindedness or some manner of brain dysfunction, whether organic or drug-induced. In these cases, you will not be able  […]</p>

    Appropriate Social Response

    All conflict management theory makes two fatal assumptions, that the other party is:

    1. rational,
    2. willing to solve the problem.

    There’s a lot of really good information about on how to handle interpersonal or organisational conflict. You should learn at least the fundamentals in order to better succeed at whatever you turn your hand to. But there are certain triggers which should warn you that the other party won’t come to the party, as it were, whether due to entrenched belief, sheer bloody-mindedness or some manner of brain dysfunction, whether organic or drug-induced. In these cases, you will not be able […]

  • <p>I’m still in the middle of contract disputes but both my contracting aganecy and the multinational I work at are looking after me. It’s rare to find the opportunity to say “Yay, big business!” but that’s what I’ve been doing this week.</p>
<p>I have four weeks off work starting at the end of today and, yes, it was planned. Now I’m starting to think of what to do during this vast amount of time to myself. There will be, of course, celebrations of Charlotte’s and Marianne’s birthday and a memorial something to remember their deaths. I’m coming to terms with  […]</p>

    Four Weeks Holiday

    I’m still in the middle of contract disputes but both my contracting aganecy and the multinational I work at are looking after me. It’s rare to find the opportunity to say “Yay, big business!” but that’s what I’ve been doing this week.

    I have four weeks off work starting at the end of today and, yes, it was planned. Now I’m starting to think of what to do during this vast amount of time to myself. There will be, of course, celebrations of Charlotte’s and Marianne’s birthday and a memorial something to remember their deaths. I’m coming to terms with […]

  • <p>If you’re not interested in very public exposure of the soul, look away now. To help you, here’s some pictures of bacon taped to a cat.</p>
<p>It’s been nearly a year since my daughters Charlotte and Marianne were born and died and I’m still living very much day-to-day. I have no plans for the future. I can’t even realistically imagine me in any kind of future and that’s largely what this post is about.</p>
<p>Why post publicly? Definitely not as a call for sympathy. Unless you’ve held you children in your arms as they die, you just don’t get it  […]</p>

    A Future Without My Girls

    If you’re not interested in very public exposure of the soul, look away now. To help you, here’s some pictures of bacon taped to a cat.

    It’s been nearly a year since my daughters Charlotte and Marianne were born and died and I’m still living very much day-to-day. I have no plans for the future. I can’t even realistically imagine me in any kind of future and that’s largely what this post is about.

    Why post publicly? Definitely not as a call for sympathy. Unless you’ve held you children in your arms as they die, you just don’t get it […]